When Your Daughter Leaves for College and You Miss Her
I am missing my daughter Megan.
How I miss my girl!
Her laughter and dancing. Her exuberance and passion for life. Her talent and perspective. Her amazing gifts and talents. Just HER. Megan has a certain energy about her...its' a spark, a ZEST for life. A freedom about her. When she feels safe and secure and loved...She OWNS her space. It is the most attractive thing I have ever seen. I LOVE the freedom of expression she exhibits...she dances like no one is watching OR like everyone is watching...because everyone is. She COMMANDS attention. But only because no one can resist watching her...
On her 19th birthday, we celebrated in Vancouver, BC. Canada. Oh Canada...How I love thee...We, (Myself, Megan and Queen Jenean) had one of the best weekends of our entire lives...celebrating my daughters' birth into the world. We laughed. We cried. We sang. We held each other. We shared. We held hands. We shopped. We embraced the weekend and sucked every drop of shared womanhood out of it. We talked and talked and talked. We walked and walked and walked. We danced. We drank. We partied until 3 am...It was absolutely AWESOME.
Megan is "ALL THAT".
She discovered photography around age 14. It instantly became her passion. Her joy. Her creative outlet. Her expression. Her art. I never entered into her world…I was content to have her share the world with me through the camera lens…thinking it was her space, her world. Not my world.
But she left…off to college.
To leave her mark.
She left a void. An empty place.
I was missing her...and her constant stream of beautiful photos she was always sharing with me.
One day, I picked up the camera. I never thought I could take a proper picture. (for years I have been haunted by a photo I once took in which I managed to cut off both the horse and riders' head in the photo)
It was a very nice picture of a headless horse and a headless rider...
Well, at least they matched!
I just figured...photography isn't my talent in life. Neither is sewing...(though I dreamed of sewing my own baby clothes)...my dream was short-lived due to my sewing of a baby outfit that would only fit a baby that had two very different sized legs...there was a very tiny pant leg ...and a very large pant leg in that particular baby jumper I made...It was umm...very memorable. (This is but one of the many moments of humility that I keep in the back of my mind to prevent me from ever becoming too prideful.)
I have fun.
I dare myself.
I know it is okay to mess up.
I feel the fear of failure and I do it anyway.
I realize that if I want some pictures...I am going to need to take them myself because Megan is living her own life, going to college and becoming her own beautiful and amazing self, and this mamma needs to "figure it out".
I discover a whole new world through that camera lens.
It excites me. Click. It’s magic. Click click click…fascinating. The images appear. Depending on the perspective…the image is transformed.
I am instantly addicted.
I love flowers.
I love beautiful things.
I love to create.
I have a new medium.
I love you my amazing and beautiful daughter for being so creative and so fun and becoming...YOU.
It is with great joy that I am watching you grow and discover yourself.
Already, you are inspiring those around you with who you are, and the beauty you create through your work. You are living your dreams and being true to yourself! You are brave. You are courageous. You are filled with talent and creativity and You are FIERCE.
I am so excited for your future...
I love you.